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DAD NOT A FATHER

Updated: Oct 17, 2023

This blog is dedicated to my Dad, love him though he has never been a father. For all that can relate to the absent / ghost fathers - your not alone and you are worthy.




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YEAR | 2023




DAD IS HE A NARCISSIST


WED 19th APRIL ‘2023

I've been blinded by the love for my dad all these years! The wool has finally been removed from my eyes, and as much as I will always love and adore my dad... I can no longer continue allowing him to hurt me.


Therefore all ties must be cut so I can heal and make room for my future 1 and only, who could older like a father figure, my age or a few years younger! Either way unconditional love, being present, understanding, family orientated, makes me smile and happy.


Today, I wrote him along with my step-mum letters expressing deep within how they have made me feel… having been advised from my counsellor and no regrets!






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YEAR | 2021




😘 HAPPY FATHERS DAY


SUN 20th JUNE ‘2021:

I can count on 1 hand the amount of Fathers Days I have spent with my Dad. Thank you God for this day and love this card that I got him and great spending today with you Dad and hope there will be many more. 🙏Amen🙏








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YEAR | 2018



SUN 9th DEC ‘2018:  

Today has been a chilled, relaxed and musical day (playing nuff tunes) via BIGO because I love music 🎶 and singing along to great tunes like I’m doing Karaoke 🎤😜

Even better when those who are watching live... participate and send in their music requests for me to play 🙌

While checking my emails, messages etc. I came across this cute, funny and adorable message from my precious dad... it’s been awhile since I’ve received one from him and only god knows how much he means to me, how much I miss him and like ‘everyone’ I understand (though it hurts 💔) at times!!!

Losing a loved one... sometimes more than 1 within a year (double-whammy) can have a serious, unexpected, devastating, low and server traumatic impact on a person... which can sometimes result in depression, self harming, thinking/committing suicide, to the point where they need “time out” from EVERYONE & EVERYTHING!!!

Why, so they can try to get their head, mind, body and soul... around ‘never’ seeing that person again... until it’s their time to also (pass-over) to the next life!

I know first hand what this is like... I’m writing from experience having lost two special people this year, within a space of 3-4wks of each other passing my (prophet, pastor & friend) rolled into ☝️ and then my Granddad... aged 92 🙏 what a fabulous age, that only a few get to reach or go beyond.

I am still in disbelief (a little) but I know when it comes to Men losing their parents...  boi it’s hard as a female to see them ‘break’ no matter how strong they/you think they are - remember they are only human too... so NEED all the patience, love, support and time from their partner, kids and family (even more) than us females. #yerisaidit 💯

Communication is Key where I’m concerned... wither it be a text, email, call etc. Just to let those who care, love and worry - know that your ok!  

This is the priceless, beautiful and meaningful thing... that my Dad and I have shared since us both being back in each other’s life’s 2015 and I treasure EVERY text, voice message and quality time that we’ve spent together up until March ‘2018 - when he heard his 2nd father figure had died and then his own dad passing in April 😢

I just THANK GOD that my precious, 1 of a kind, charming, handsome, genuine, real soldier of a man (my dad) is ok 🙏 to keep him protected and safe from anything... that isn’t Positive or Good - but most of all to return him back into my life WHEN he is ready (sooner rather than later) 🤞

And so greatful that I finally got to see him briefly 2wks ago... as the saying goes “Something Is Better, than Nothing”


Thank you again Dad for your message and unconditional love 🖤 #imblessed 




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HE 🖤’s ME, HE 🖤s ME NOT!!!  


27th NOV ‘2018:




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