Sharing my truth through daily life in ‘2023 aged; 41/42 - in a variety of #writing #photos and #audio #nickydiaries #2023
NICKY DIARIES Playlist 👇
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TUES 29th AUG ‘2023
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LOVE MY 3Ts
THURS 3rd AUG ‘2023
My last days with my 3Ts, after a lovely 3days of Godmother Quality Time
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FLIPOUT WITH MY 3Ts
TUES 1st AUG ‘2023
3 of my 4Ts came down last night and I took them out today to #flipout
We had so much fun, loved it with them. Great footage captured.
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DAD OR NARCISSIST FATHER
MON 19th JUNE ‘2023:
I've been blinded by the love for my dad all these years!
The wool has finally been removed from my eyes, and as much as I will always love and adore my dad... I can no longer continue allowing him to hurt me emotionally and mentally.
Therefore all ties must be cut so I can heal and make room for my future 1 and only, who could older like a father figure, my age or a few years younger! Either way unconditional love, being present, understanding, family orientated, makes me smile and happy.
This is what I need to focus on finding
And after hearing this voice message from him, which I think is in response to my letter! The cheek of his words, says it all! I think not only was my nan a Narcissist, my parents treatment hasn’t been much better!
I forgot l’m the one to blame!!!
No one's perfect, I'm just sharing #mystory as I am sure there are plenty who can relate and we should be uplifting and strong for each other.🙏
I also watched & send a message to Dr Ramani, below, my comment;
Dear Dr Ramani
Father's Day has always been a difficult time for me, especially in recent years. Dealing with the absence of an unworthy father who has deceived me throughout my life has been particularly challenging. I constantly longed for his presence and believed his excuses, lies, and empty declarations of love.
However, the harsh reality is that no loving parent would willingly stay away from their child. It's even worse when they gaslight you and refuse to take responsibility for their actions, instead shifting blame onto you. It's heartbreaking.
I suspect my father may be narcissistic, and it pains me. I did not know about narcissism until I experienced my first and last relationship with a narcissist in 2020, so it's still a new concept for me. As I delve deeper into my research and seek guidance from informative videos like this one, it's becoming increasingly clear that I need to redirect the love I've been pouring into thoughts of him and missing him towards myself. I've wasted 42 years of my life in this pursuit.
My heart is shattered. I plan to share the letter I wrote to my father and his response, and I would greatly appreciate your feedback or the opportunity to collaborate in a live chat. I genuinely need to know if my feelings are justified and if I was in the wrong for expressing myself the way I did.
More importantly, your honesty on what you think and if you think I’m a narcissist! 😳
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FATHERS DAY | REAL TALK
SUN 18th JUNE '2023
I didn't expect this rant but here it is! And decided to create some inspirational words for those who are not blesse abd fortunate to have present & worthy dads / fathers!
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UNGRATFUL, RANT, ADDICTION!!!!!
WED 26th MAY ‘2023
Do you think I was too harsh? Or u understand where I am coming from and can relate!
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SHOE COMPLIMENTS 👠
WED 29th MARCH ‘2023
My duck shaped shoes, got a few compliments while out and about today.
I can't remember where I got them from, but they are cute and comfy 👌
Thank you again for the compliments 🤗
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CUTIE ‘EYE GLASS’ aka GLASSES
WED 29th MARCH ‘2023
Picked up my glasses from #specsavers, their short-distance vision as I noticed the bluriness which I know is due to my smoking days and getting the fumes in my eyes 😵💫.
Yes, they say it comes with age too... but it won't that deep 🙏
I most def notice the amazing difference when put them on, the full clear vision that I hope will return with using ‘Eye Messiah’ but until then it's great to have back up (glasses) if I really need to see at a distance.
What do you think of my glasses?
We're your eyes effected by smoke?
BEFORE
AFTER
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